Jungle

What has the world come to today, chivalry and good manners used to be the most important character traits in a person. As the years go by it's like people have less and less respect for their fellow man or woman. It's almost as if people enjoy being disrespected, they enjoy being treated like shit. I've seen a lot of people I know not stand up for themselves before, and it seriously sickens me. Sometimes the only reason people get hurt is cause they don't stand up for themselves and if they did they would be much better off.

The transition between the summer semester and this semester has been quite strange. I felt in control this summer, I made my own decisions and relied on myself more than I have in the past. I put myself out there and strived to be the best I could be in school and out. I was surrounded by people who are very fun to be around and who I could spend time with. This Summer was probably the strongest i've ever been. Having the freedom to make big decisions, exploring the city through new means such as biking. I had the time of my life.

Now that it's the fall semester, It feels as if I've stepped into a Zoo. I never really had that stereotypical college attitude of partying and drinking until I puke attitude, it seems ridiculous to me. I started partying my Junior year, but I feel as if that was only a distraction from some life changes. Well it was definitely a distraction, but it turned into the normal thing to do and I stuck with it.

Is that how people get through life though? Do they have it all at one point, get struck down and then find a distraction that will outweigh their dispair? Does anyone ever truly get over anything? Once you get to know someone, you think you know them, or you think that you know that you know them. But do you really? How could all emotions just get up and leave?

I write this with hope that I will find what I'm looking for, and enjoy the search as it comes to me. Sometimes it's good to get your emotions out in written forms, even if other people were to read them.

Patience

So here I sit on a weekday with no formal employment or any class to go to. Here I sit writing this blog from a poorly temperature controlled dormitory. Listening to Pandora and attempting to do this Revit homework. It all seems so bland to me.

We all make mistakes in life, and I made a pretty big one. I let my ego and false confidence get in the way of making a decision. I thought I'd have a job, I thought I'd have something, something to keep me busy and to help me not to starve. Some new experience where I could learn more from to help me on my path in life. The Architecture firms of Boston are all stacked with either too many professionals or have already taken there mediocre intern. The rest of the failed locations are filled with maniacal egotistical bastards (Apple store).

I do my best to not worry about things so much, people ask me why I don't and I say why does it matter. But it just feels like whenever I reach a highpoint, a point in time where I feel truly happy something comes to kick me off and I have to start from the bottom again. It's been like this for a while now. My life is definitely better than it was one year six months ago, but I don't think I've found everything I've been looking for, and obviously it's going to take a while until I feel fully complete. I guess what I'm getting at is that I want to have something/someone again that's worth fighting for.

Patience is the greatest of all virtues.

Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)