Solace

As I read through my previous blog posts, for class and for personal writing. I realize how much I have thought in the past 7 months and how far i've come. I also realize how confused I was about certain things in my life.

At this moment right now, I don't think I could be anything else but myself. I feel like I have found the purest form of myself and that this is what I have been looking for. In the past month I have done numerous amounts of things which secure my future, whether it be with school, jobs or most importantly friends.

I have finished a new portfolio, it took me two months of hard thinking and procrastinating but I completed it, and I am proud to display it publicly to people and receive whatever good or bad criticism it deserves. I have also successfully applied to the Masters program at my school, and only my school. For as much as I complain about my school, it is still a fine institution and I have learned a hell of a lot more there than I could have ever dreamed. And I'm ready to learn a lot more too.

In 17 days I will be boarding a flight from Boston to Frankfurt where I will then journey to Montpellier, France. I am privileged enough to be able to study abroad in France for the next 3 months. Being able to travel, enjoy a new country, a new continent, and meet new and interesting people.

I have comfort knowing that no matter what happens to me in my future right now, that I will either be securely in school for another year, acquiring knowledge and being with friends I care greatly about; Or, I will be working in NYC at RAND Engineering and Architecture PC striving to become the best Project Associate that they have ever seen and soon to be licensed professional. When this happens I plan on living in Queens with my best friend, going on adventures and both livin the dream as young aspiring professionals. And I know that whichever road happens that I will always have the support of my very good friends and my loving family.

I know that previous posts in this blog display me as confused and angry. And I suppose that I'm allowed to be angry sometimes and everyone gets confused. I'm not one to keep the same emotion running for long though. I always tell people it's impossible for me to stay angry, or be 100% serious and that's true. I don't see the point in staying with one bad emotion all the time, you are capable is a strong minded human being to over come your bad emotions and figure out what it is that makes you feel that way.

Maybe it's only me who can think that way, maybe there are more. All that I know is that at this point in time. I'm enjoying life, and I hope that it enjoys me.

New Portfolio

I finished my New Portfolio 2 weeks ago, and I love it! It is so much better than my old one and I feel like it really demonstrates all that I learned in the past 4 years.

Check it out

Open publication - Free publishing - More studies

Jungle

What has the world come to today, chivalry and good manners used to be the most important character traits in a person. As the years go by it's like people have less and less respect for their fellow man or woman. It's almost as if people enjoy being disrespected, they enjoy being treated like shit. I've seen a lot of people I know not stand up for themselves before, and it seriously sickens me. Sometimes the only reason people get hurt is cause they don't stand up for themselves and if they did they would be much better off.

The transition between the summer semester and this semester has been quite strange. I felt in control this summer, I made my own decisions and relied on myself more than I have in the past. I put myself out there and strived to be the best I could be in school and out. I was surrounded by people who are very fun to be around and who I could spend time with. This Summer was probably the strongest i've ever been. Having the freedom to make big decisions, exploring the city through new means such as biking. I had the time of my life.

Now that it's the fall semester, It feels as if I've stepped into a Zoo. I never really had that stereotypical college attitude of partying and drinking until I puke attitude, it seems ridiculous to me. I started partying my Junior year, but I feel as if that was only a distraction from some life changes. Well it was definitely a distraction, but it turned into the normal thing to do and I stuck with it.

Is that how people get through life though? Do they have it all at one point, get struck down and then find a distraction that will outweigh their dispair? Does anyone ever truly get over anything? Once you get to know someone, you think you know them, or you think that you know that you know them. But do you really? How could all emotions just get up and leave?

I write this with hope that I will find what I'm looking for, and enjoy the search as it comes to me. Sometimes it's good to get your emotions out in written forms, even if other people were to read them.

Patience

So here I sit on a weekday with no formal employment or any class to go to. Here I sit writing this blog from a poorly temperature controlled dormitory. Listening to Pandora and attempting to do this Revit homework. It all seems so bland to me.

We all make mistakes in life, and I made a pretty big one. I let my ego and false confidence get in the way of making a decision. I thought I'd have a job, I thought I'd have something, something to keep me busy and to help me not to starve. Some new experience where I could learn more from to help me on my path in life. The Architecture firms of Boston are all stacked with either too many professionals or have already taken there mediocre intern. The rest of the failed locations are filled with maniacal egotistical bastards (Apple store).

I do my best to not worry about things so much, people ask me why I don't and I say why does it matter. But it just feels like whenever I reach a highpoint, a point in time where I feel truly happy something comes to kick me off and I have to start from the bottom again. It's been like this for a while now. My life is definitely better than it was one year six months ago, but I don't think I've found everything I've been looking for, and obviously it's going to take a while until I feel fully complete. I guess what I'm getting at is that I want to have something/someone again that's worth fighting for.

Patience is the greatest of all virtues.

Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)

Milo

Motion Control is all the rage in video game technology these days.

This fall, Microsoft is releasing a product to be used alongside the Xbox360 called 'Kinect'. Kinect makes the player the controller using motion sensing technology. The Xbox 360 user can interact with the screen simply by waving their arms or saying commands.

One of the more fascinating programs or games to run alongside the Kinect will eventually be 'Project Milo'.

Milo is the creation of Lionhead studios and is meant to change the way that the audience or the gamer interacts with the virtual world. Milo will be completely responsive to any questions or movements that the gamer performs in front of Kinect. Milo completely responds to emotions, movements, and voice.

This is one of the first groundbreaking tests in advanced virtual artificial intelligence.

The thought of being able to interact with something that doesn't exist is creepy but awesome at the same time.

See for yourself

Inception

I recently went to see 'Inception', a new movie directed by Christopher Nolan. Inception is about being able to steal ideas and information via peoples dreams, which is called extraction; however, inception is when someone plants an idea into someones brain.

There are rules of the dream world. For example, if you are injured in the dream you will feel immense pain both in the dream and in the real world; but, if you are killed, you will instantly awake from the dream and be perfectly fine in the real world.

This made me think about the Buddhist belief of reincarnation and that when you die you are reincarnated into another living vessel. I crafted a new theory based of reincarnation and the idea of being killed in a dream.

What if life is an infinite loop of dreams?

If you get killed in this world that we live in, who's to say that you don't awake in another? This cycle could continuously repeat and repeat forever, almost as if there is no such thing as death but rather waking up.

Now this theory is not about living forever, but merely shifting realms if you were to die and to continue living where you start in a new realm.

As crazy as it sounds, it is interesting to think about.

Sacrifice

One of my favorite movies of all time is 'The Prestige' which is directed by Christopher Nolan. One of the main themes in this movie is sacrifice, it has opened my mind to think about what sacrifice actually is, how it can be good and how it can be bad.

Everyone sacrifices, whether it's time, talent, opportunity, life, or even people.

Why is sacrifice such a powerful action?

Would you sacrifice your talents and creativity for a chance to shine?

Would you sacrifice your friends to rise to the top?

Would you sacrifice your time to help someone in need?

All of these questions require multiple levels of understanding, yet are all similar.

Sacrifice can be looked at as good or bad.

Good

Right now, as a student, I sacrifice most of my time to Architecture. I could be out exploring the world or have more time to try new and different things; but I chose to take the diligent path to become a Master Architect and to achieve an astute and profound understanding of what Architecture is and how it effects the world. Eventually this sacrifice will catch up to me in the end, because I know in my mind that down the road somewhere, the path I chose for my life will lead to good things.

Bad

Never sacrifice your time and talents for someone who does not truly appreciate what you are doing for them and why you are doing it. In the past I always fought to do the 'right thing' and to try to help everyone; but helping everyone isn't necessarily always the best course of action. There are people who will not appreciate what you do and see it as nothing. It is not worth the time you give and therefore should be saved for something more productive.

The level of sacrifice in 'The Prestige' is way more complex than my personal sacrifices, but explaining that would ruin the movie for people who have not seen it.

Next time you find yourself sacrificing your time for something, think about how it will effect you in the long run, and if actually performing the action will be rewarding to you or tragic. Everyone needs to sacrifice something at some point in their life, There is no avoiding that.

Life isn't perfect and neither are we.